POWER OF THE KODOKSSS!!!..WE RULE!!!

Somebody once asked me why KODOK?... why not Dugong? or Badak? or Tenuk?. The explanation is simple, just look at a kodok. He is unassuming, not the greatest looking, looks unapproachable because it looks like it doesn't care about anything (Sadin je muka dia) although they are completely aware of their surroundings, jumps less than a katak, because kodoks are normally bigger than Kataks. Where kataks are easily excitable, Kodoks are observers. They are not afraid if humans come close. When feeling under attack they make themselves bigger by blowing that bubble under their mouth. Their last resort is hopping away. They only open their mouths when they eat and when they want to be heard, when they say something it makes the funniest sound "WEBEK!..WEBEK!!". Although it sounds funny but the sound is always purposeful and SELAMBA. Yet he always seems majestic crouching on a lily pad. i identify with the kodoks. hence i am selambakodok.

House keeping 1:

1.)PROJECT : AFDLIN SHAUKI DAH HILANG AKAL! is making history for Malaysia kodok-kodok ku semua. We are not selling like MAWI, (Not yet at least) but we are selling more than the distributors care to know or do. I Would like to humbly thank all the KODOKS yang telah membayar untuk CD dan Cassette itu, "Terima Kasih yang tak terhingga!!" It will definitely help me in keeping up the good fight against the people who want to kill the music industry, by makng better music and better stuff. Gua dan staff gua terduduk dan tersebak kegembiraan bila kita ada terima cek RM100 for one of the CDs. It showed you honoured me and my friends for our attempt to do something new. The orders are still furiously coming in. If you are interested to get your copy of AFDLIN SHAUKI'S FUUYO album just hit the PROJECT : AFDLIN SHAUKI DAH HILANG AKAL! link.

ONLY CDs ARE BEING REPRINTED FOR THE SECOND EDITION as Cassette printing is mahal gila babi and kualiti soundnya takle sebagus CD... dan sehingga kilang cap duit gua kat pengkalan chepa tu tak bukak-bukak gua tak mampu la beb.

Second step. The next level. For those who have purchased the Album and only those who have paid for the album, we wanna take you to
PROJECT : AFDLIN SHAUKI DAH HILANG AKAL! level 2.
If you liked the album! and believe that this album should be heard by more people, PLEASE tell your friends, tell as many people that you can through the blogs and thru your daily life. This is how i am going to reward your belief.

GET THE PERSON/FRIEND/FAMILY/HAPLESS STRANGER YOU REFFERED TO US TO WRITE ON HIS EMAIL TO US

1. His full name. 2. His address that he wants us to send the cd to. 3. the person who reffered him to PROJECT : AFDLIN SHAUKI DAH HILANG AKAL! and that person's email.

If you are the referer, you must have bought the cd as we will then have your database to know where to send you a CHEQUE!!

Yes... KODOK semua you heard me right!! I WILL SEND U A CHEQUE!

Cek apa kekodok Chief cakap ni? you might be asking yourself.

PROJECT : AFDLIN SHAUKI DAH HILANG AKAL! level 2.

a) if we get to sell 5 albums at RM 35 each thru ur referalls, I AM going to send you RM5 for every one of your friend you recommend, who pays RM35 for the album.

b.)if you refer 10 or more people who buy the album at RM35 each, i am going to give RM 10 each person you refer and buys the album at RM35. so for example, if you recommend 10 people and this 10 people pays us for the cd, you get a cheque for RM 100.

alternatively,

BULK ORDERING.
c.)When some of your friends don't have the internet ke or buta it and wants u to do all the work, then you collect duit kengkawan you semua tu yang also value good music, and then you place a bulk order with us. If you want to order in bulk, which means 5 cds and above, it will be preferable that you could send us a cheque or money tansfer for the amount of cds you want to order for people, eg. 10 cds x RM35 = RM350, and when we send you the cds, we will send you a cheque for 10cds x RM10 = RM100.

all cheques to be made to : Vision Works (M) sdn bhd.
Jangan lupa sign!!!.. kita ada dapat cek yg tak bersain.. alamak apehalla ko ni labu.

Money transfers thru maybank 2 you boleh di lakukan ke acc. number maybank gua (Afdlin Shauki bin Aksan)
Maybank acc. number: 164810018936

for money transfers,
Show us a copy of da money transfer slip, thru snail mail or email and kita akan hanto kat ko cd tu.... seluruh dunia.

"Why is afdlin doing this?" u might ask... Well, kalau kita pegi normal distribution duit yang kita akan bagi kat korang ni adalah yang kita akan bagi depa. So kalau korang yang menjadi pembakar semangat dan menghebahkan album tu ke satu uni atau ur workplace, you are like a distributor!! so we wanna reward that, by giving you the cash yang selalunya kita bagi kat depa tu.

Menarik!!!.... mari kita kejar MAWI punya sales numbers and show, how PEOPLE POWER is stronger than your emotionless giant corporations who don't give a kodok about the consumers and the local artiste.

House keeping 2.

PERADUAN TEKA DAN PADANKAN ARTIS DENGAN KAKI MEREKA = SIAPA FIRST DAPAT BETUL, DAPAT kasut ADIDAS original!!

Okaylah oleh kerana macam terseksa aje batin korang ni gua padankan tigabelas lu orang padan tujuh aje.... cepat sebelum duit gua simpan nak beli adidas ni terpaksa beli susu dan pampers anak gua.

inilah 13 kaki artis mengikut turutan :

1.) Kaki Leanord Tan




2.) Kaki Radhi Khalid




3.) Kaki Noryn




4.) kaki Syarifah Hasnor




5.) Kaki Bob AF2




6.) Kaki Yogi B




7.) Kaki Yusni Jaafar




8.) Kaki Point blanque




9.) Kaki Helmi Gimmick




10) kaki Aziz Sattar




11) Kaki Zaibo




12) Kaki Man Kidal




13) Kaki Roy




yang 14) ke 20) tu padankan!!! siapa cepat dia dapat. hantarkan email kepada selambakodok@gmail.com dengan subjeknya : KENAPALAH AFDLIN PROMOTE ADIDAS, BUKANNYA DIORANG ENDORSE KO?. Padankan 7 artis dengan 7 kasut, bagi nama penuh dan alamat, saiz kasut dan kaler apa ko ndak (part ni tak janji boleh dapat sama kaler). CEPAT!!!!!!!!!

Hanya perlu padankan kaki tujuh orang ni saja kaki

Mawi,


Marsha,


Rosyam Nor,


Afdlin Shauki,


Zahid AF2,


Anuar Zain,


dan Mus.







House keeping 3

Pada kodok-kodok designer yang berada di cyberspace ini, siapa yang berminat nak try nasib untuk design poster filem gua yang akan bakal meledak di panggung pada tahun hadapan yang berjudul BULI BALIK, silalah cuba dan hantar artwork korang yang lo res dulu ke selambakodok@gmail.com dan lepas tu kita akan pamerkan ke masyarakat cyber dan kita buat online polling yang mana design bakal memenangi hadiah lumayan, Keluar lepak makan, tengok wayang dengan cast Buli Balik dan hadiah-hadiah gilababs-takhingat-punya yang akan diberitahu kelak.

Design Brief :

SYNOPSIS CERITA :
Nordin buli balik Roy, yang hilang ingatannya, dalam filem ni kerana dia sudah mulai yakin dengan dirinya sendiri... Ala-ala revenge punya cerita lar. Revenge of the budak gemuk camtu ler.

FEEL :
Dark sikit. Kerana membuak dendam Nordin kat Roy. tapi funny jugak at the same time. (ha mampusla korang buat)

COLOURS :
Lebih kan ke reddish untuk match kesinambungan BULI (kat blog ni ada contoh design first filem tu). Tapi kalau ada idea lain yang menasabah belasah je.

Ko design style dia dan just position pelakon ikut suka korang dan kalau konfirm hang punya design juara, artis akan pergi photoshoot ikut design hang... Tarikh tutup, pada hujung bulan NOVEMBER.

So okay itu aje buat kali ni..... yang lelain tu kita tunggu dulu. Thank you so much again. Assalammualaikum.... enjoy the ride
FASTER BABY FASTER!!!!

POWER TO THE PEOPLE

AFDLIN

WOW THANKS GUYS!!... SOMETHING PROVEN.

You know, the questions i posed in the blog before has been a great ongoing issue in my life. I thank you all for all the great feedback, i am blessed to know that there are so many human-kodoks out there. In a world where inter-human-trust is at it's lowest, i feel like there is a light at the end of a very long tunnel. Something to me, is proven.

My issues are however are something that i guess will never be resolved because hearts are too closely linked and i handle it the best way i can, whenever i face it.

What happened in the bloggers comments was a great exercise, so many people opening up to share their thoughts and some maybe even start to think about their own issues regarding the matter.

Life is about balance, i vehemently believe and concur with my religion on that matter. When the scales are tipped to either side tto much eg. , not caring or even, caring too much, there will be a price to pay, that then will somehow equalise the situation. BUT one thing is for sure, SOMETHING WILL HAPPEN!!

When you don't give money, after giving many times, it doesn't mean you don't care... it means you're frakking broke!! or It COULD ALSO MEAN... that you want the person to find an alternative source of income in order to live, hence forcing him/her to get off their royal backsides to do something. Only a heartless father would let his family starve, when he knows he can do something for them to survive!! ...

the problem i believe stems from our culture of EXPECTING. I come from the mental state that when you do something, especially something good, and EXPECT nothing in return, you have not set yourself up for dissapointment. You see many times WE SABO ourselves by expecting people to act a certain way, when we do something for them and when they don't ,we get hurt.... you see how by EXPECTING you have basically just punk'ed yourself.

Our culture is laden with this value... we expect the government to help us all the time when we create a hole for ourselves, and when they don't, they are bad.....

we expect our family to respect us because as a man, we are the leader of the family even though we are never home, too busy, etc. for the respect to be gained.....

a woman expects her partner to get it on and on and on all night, because women believe men can supposedly get it up at anytime because we have sex on our minds all the time and are more gatal then women. BUT when we can't,.... we're having an affair?? ...... ok the last example is just a selingan ok. takde kena mengena dengan orang hidup atau mati. heehee.

My point is that is why the islamic concept of saying 'Ikhlas' is very powerful. Because it means what i am doing is sincere, from the bottom of my heart and i don't expect anything in return.

WHEN one doesn't come from EXPECT, whenever somebody does something favourable for you in return, it feels like a gift. a bonus from god if you like. MOST IMPORTANTLY, YOU DON'T SABOTAGE YOURSELF INTO HEARTACHE AND PAIN.

That is why in the business world, they have reworked the EXPECT factor out, by making people sign contracts. NOW I EXPECT YOU TO DO SOMETHING BECAUSE YOU ARE HAVE AGREED TO A LEGAL BINDING DOCUMENT TO DO SO AND IF YOU DON"T, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SUE YOUR ASS OFF IN A COURT OF LAW, WHERE YOU WILL THEN BE SENTENCED TO GO TO JAIL AND GET YOUR SALAD TOSSED BY AN OVERSIZED FELLOW INMATE WITH AN OVERSIZED RIGHT ARM ETC. ETC.

That is why god gave us free will isn't it?? so that we can rise above animals and not become creatures of habit but beings who are constantly trying to find a way to become better... although i am not extremely knowledgable religiously, but isn't that what the religion requires of all of us.

But then again, this is just the opinion and ramblings of a COMEDIAN who everyone EXPECTS to be funny all the time.

IKHLAS TAPI JAUH

AFDLIN

PS next post will be a cheerful one i promise!!.. heehee i will also be giving clues to the teka kaki competition. Plus PROJECT : AFDLIN SHAUKI DAH HILANG AKAL update. FILEM RAKYAT PROJECT. and many more goodies... chow chin

Something hard.

I am blogging from Alexis, Great Eastern Mall while waiting for Apek to show up for our meeting.

I want to share something that has been on my mind for awhile. It is something which is not easy for one to talk about but i feel my sessions on the blog have been like going to therapy sessions, so i want to share an awkward topic which i have been forced to deal with lately.

A bit about my true self.
I try to live my life as honest as possible. i don't always communicate what's in my mind and i know that frustrates a lot of people, but when i do open my mouth, you can expect honesty. The people i love i keep them close and in high regard.The people who i dislike, i give them opportunities to become better (too many at times). I give respect first without expecting it back, but i will not pay disrespect with any kindness.

My conflict has always been :

Can i be honest to the people i love even though i know it will hurt them?
Would it be better to not give money to family that is constantly asking for it (macam gua ada kilang cap duit kat Pengkalan Chepa) and let them figure out a way for themselves?

Please share your views with me... and we will continue this discussion.

love to all.

POWER TO THE PEOPLE

Afdlin

Coming soon to a kodok near you..... A place for all kodoks!!

If you think you are kodok now.... soon you'll be even more KODOK.

POWER TO THE KODOKS

AFDLIN - ULTRAKODOK (alterego selambakodok)

Selambakodok chillin' on a lily pad with his kodok family, watching a slow moving stream. Aaaaaaaaaahhhhh....

Unbeknownst (what a gila glamer word) to the world, selambakodok has been chillin' with his kodok family and bonda kodok in cyberjaya for the past couple of days to vegg. I decided i needed to get away and spend time with my family so that we could bring back the balance to our lives.

You see i am a workaholic. I am sure many of you are the same out there and the reasons that you are, for the better part, is mainly known by you. As for Me, it is partly due to conditioning from when i use to study architecture, BUT mainly i guess it is due to the fear that, if i don't work, my family will not be fed.

You might think it insane for a person in my position to feel this way, but there you go.

Early in my life, i decided to play a BIG game. To take big risks in my life.

BIG RISKS = BIG GAIN / BIG FAILURES.

Not to be afraid to be Ridiculed / Maki-ed / Laughed at / Passed over etc. in trying to succeed in my life. In trying to become Afdlin Shauki. (So, although i am new to the blogging game, i am not new to people talking s**t about me. Don't get me wrong, the whole point of the last blog is that i would just like people to develop a culture of owning up to what they do if they so believe in what they say.)

Anyway, I was not ok with the life i had. That means i had decided that i didn't want to be poor all my life. I didn't want to see my mom stuck in that hole in the wall called the DBKL Sri Sabah Flats, forever. I want to give my children what i never had as a child. To many of you, i guess this story will sound all too familiar to yours as well.

So i menebalkan muka setebal tembok china dan menyondol sahaja seperti khinzir hutan yang terbau darah ke mana ada peluang / opportunities that was open to share what i had. What did i have?

The gift from god to somehow entertain some people. BUT this gift had to be polished, disciplined, trained, honed through education and mainly thru FAILURES.

I am who i am today because i have failed many times. The difference is to a lot of other people is i never considered myself a failure but a student of failures. Which is after for 2 suddenly i got good at my MATHS / ILMU HISAB because i realised the more i failed, but then tried again and again and again to get it right, the closer i got to understanding how to get to the answer.

I don't really remember all th sine and kosine and tangents anymore because it's true what a lot of people say , we don't use it in our daily life, but what i really learned thru maths was that getting the correct answer was just a bonus, the process of getting the answer was more important. So that meant not giving up if u fail to get the answer, it was merely the beginning of the challenge. So you keep plugging away. again and again and again..

So, from "apa nama budak gemuk yg. datang audition tu?"... it became, " Mr. Shauki, we would like to offer you the role of the interpreter in our film Anna and The King, where you will be playing opposite Miss Jodie Foster and Mr. Chow Yuen Fatt (or as he would say," Juust cor me FATT!")

At this point in time, you might be asking yourself , yes..yes... but what has all this got to do with the price of crude oil or apa kena mengena dengan mukadimah mamat ni tadi?

Well that is why i became a workaholic, because i am working for the bonus. And the bonus is to be able to give all my family
a great life. Help people who are talented but have no LOBANGS / connections, achieve their goals. Teach people what i know. Share my knowledge with others.

BUT....

SOMETIMES we have to give ourselves a TIME-OUT, so that in chasing our future we don't leave and forget the people in our present. I have gone down this road once and my family nearly fell apart.

So here i am at a hotel room with 2mb internet connection in cyberjaya, sharing my thoughts with you... while my family lay soundly asleep after two days of goofing around with each other, in our two chalets that i have taken for the weekend.

Before i sign off i found this gem of a story in my GMAIL and when i read it, i got like a japanese anime character and water started to well up at the bottom of my glassy eyes and started to vibrate furiously before slowly running down my cheek. It is something i think we can all learn from. Thank you Mohd. Khairul Alias, from Johore Baru for this.

here it igoes... cue lights ..... roll sound... camera... and action!

DRAMA MINGGU INI

Seorang bapa pulang ke rumah dalam keadaan letih dan disambut baik oleh anaknya yang berusia 7 tahun. Sambil mengangkat briefcase ayahnya, si anak itu bertanya kepada ayah.....

Anak: Ayah...ayah.. boleh Amin tanya satu soalan?

Ayah: Hmmm....nak tanya apa?

Anak: Ayah...berapa pendapatan ayah sejam di pejabat?

Ayah: Itu bukan urusan kamu, buat apa sebuk- sebuk nak tanya?

Si ayah mula menengking.

Anak: Amin saja nak tahu ayah... Tolonglah beritahu berapa pendapatan ayah sejam di pejabat? Si anak mula merayu pada ayahnya.

Ayah: 20 ringgit sejam.. Kenapa nak tahu? Jerkah ayahnya lagi.

Anak: Oh..20 ringgit.. Amin menundukkan mukanya.

Anak: Ayah.. boleh tak bagi Amin pinjam 10 ringgit dari ayah?

Si ayah mula menjadi berang dan berkata, "Oh, itu ke sebabnya kamu tanya pasal pendapatan ayah? Kamu nak buat apa dengan duit tu? Mintak sampai 10 ringgit?

Nak beli mainan lagi?? Ayah penat-penat kerja cari duit, kamu senang-senang nak membazir ya.. Sudah, pergi masuk bilik..tidur! Dah pukul berapa nih...!!"

Si anak itu terdiam dan perlahan-lahan dia kembali ke biliknya. Si ayah duduk di sofa sambil memikirkan mengapa anaknya yang sekecil itu meminta duit sampai 10 ringgit. Kira-kira 2 jam kemudian, ayah kembali tenang dan terfikir kemungkinan besar anaknya benar-benar memerlukan duit untuk keperluan di sekolah kerana anaknya tak pernah meminta wang sebegitu banyak sebelum ini.

Dengan perasaan bersalah, si ayah melangkah menuju ke bilik anaknya.
Didapati anaknya masih belum tidur.

"Kamu benar-benar perlukan 10 ringgit? Nah.. Ambil ni" Si ayah mengeluarkan sekeping duit kaler merah.

Kanak-kanak itu segera bangun dan tersenyum girang. "Terima kasih banyaklah ayah!" Lalu dia mengangkat bantalnya dan mengeluarkan sekeping note 10 ringgit yang sudah renyuk terhimpit oleh bantal.Bila ternampak duit itu, si ayah kembali berang.

"Kenapa kamu mintak duit lagi sedangkan kamu dah ada duit sebanyak itu?? Dari mana kamu dapat duit tu??"

Amin tunduk... tak berani dia merenung ayahnya. Sambil menggenggam kemas duit itu, dia menerangkan.....

"Duit ni Amin kumpul dari belanja sekolah yang ayah bagi hari-hari tu.
Amin minta lagi 10 ringgit kat ayah sebab Amin tak cukup duit..."

"Tak cukup duit nak beli apa??" Jerkah ayahnya lagi.

"Ayah.... sekarang Amin dah ada 20 ringgit.. Nah..ayah ambil duit ni.

Amin nak beli sejam dari masa ayah di pejabat tu.

Amin nak ayah balik kerja awal esok. Amin rindu nak makan malam dengan ayah.."

Jelas Amin tanpa memandang wajah ayahnya...




The moral of this story...

Kongsilah cite ni ngan sesape je yg anda suka tapi..yang penting skali, sharelah masa sebanyak 20 ringgit itu bersama2 dgn insan yang anda sayangi. Ini hanyalah setitis peringatan kepada sesiapa yang bekerja keras sepanjang hidupnya..yang bakal kerja sok lusa... Atau sesiapa saja yang selalu sibuk...
Jangan biarkan masa berlalu begitu sahaja tanpa dinikmati bersama2 dengan mereka2 yang begitu rapat dengan kita..yang sentiasa berada di hati kita..

Bayangkan...bila dah kerja nanti...kalau kita mati.. pihak syarikat akan senang2 cari orang lain..gantikan kita. Tapi..keluarga, rakan2 yang kita tinggalkan kat dunia ni pasti akan berasa suatu kehilangan sepanjang hidup mereka.....

Fikirlah...selama ni.. apa yang kita dah buat untuk keluarga kita?.. untuk insan yang kita sayang??"


MOHD KHAIRUL ALIAS

think about it...

POWER TO ALL OF YOU
MAY YOU ALL BE SAFE ALWAYS

AFDLIN
ps. all photos taken by MIASARA SHAUKI, 6 yrs old. (except last one)

QUERY for the kodoks!!

Hey gang! i want your opinion. Should i make comments unavailable for ANONYMOUS users. Because just think of it, if somebody is really interested in discussion, wouldn't they leave their email or something so they can be answerable 4 their views. I mean i am as honest as i can be about my views and you know where to find me, if you disagree and would like to start a discourse.

What i'm saying is, If we are so vocal in our views then show us who you are. Be a MAN or WOMAN or WHATEVER but don't be a coward. You can say a lot of things about Malays being like this la, like that la, but by not identifying urself u r bing a coward, which is i think is worse. It is beneath even a kodok.

How can you preach about Malays being like this and Malays neing like that and be FRAKKING ANONYMOUS???... Are you afraid that the you are going to find that ur generalisation is untrue when hordes of malays spam your email with their views.

I can't even tell the anonymous writer that there are some points that i agree about what he said cause, i don't know who you are.

Anonymous views don't mean a thing because anonymous does not have credibility. It is an entity that does nothing but watch in the wings and then shouts to be heard but doesn't want to be responsible for what he/she said.

If Anonymous really believes in his/her cause, how can you fight a war if you don't confront your enemy (Only counties with long range tactical missiles can do that).

The culture of PUKUL CURI, or STABBING PEOPLE IN THE BACK is an act that belongs to one without honour and rightfully so, reflects on that person's being.

If you have no honour, how do u expect to live in this world. How do you expect people to trust you. How do you expect to get ahead in life. How do you look yourself in the mirror (like michael Jackson). how do you look at your kids (like michael Jackson???!!). You must be really thick (muka TEMBOK YANG TEBAL) or just plain detached from the world u live in.

At a self-awareness course i attended not many years ago, they asked us to do this exercise from which i concluded, the way we treat people outside is the same as the way we are with people at home and everywhere else. Yes, you might still smile at a boss that you hate after a disagreement but hit your wife over a minor disagreement, but deep down inside, hate still runs ur life. You operate from hate, AND what is the root of HATE?... FEAR.

If you do not fear, show yourself. Put your money where your mouth is or is a chicken's mouth too small to fit in the soon to be useless rm1 coins.

If you have a friend who constantly lies to everyone, believe me eventually, he is going to lie to you. Sad but true (Metallica).

Think about it. Let me know what you think. If a majority say "closed to anonymous!", i will enable the function.

Alah bukan susah sangat nak dapat username, habih hampeh dapat blog akaun sendiri. Haaa! Ko maki le sesiapa pun puas-puas kat situ.

POWER TO THE PEOPLE

AFDLIN

My chat with Pak Lah... THE PRIME MINISTER! Part 2.

Hai kekodok semua sorry kerana lambat menyambung cerita perjumpaan gua dgn. Pak Lah ni, tapi gua tersibuk pulak. Harap semua faham. Tapi gua amat berterimakasih kepada semua yang telah memberi komen dan juga membuat dialog-dialog yang mereka rasa pak lah katakan kepada gua. Rupa-rupanya banyak penulis komedi berpotensi / potential comedy writers kat Malaysia ni. Kalau you all nak develop these skills we can have a chat soon at the GATHERING KODOK yg akan dilakukan nanti.

sebelum start satu lagi iklan, ampun semua, tetapi KENAPA LAH KORANG TAK BACA INSTRUCTIONS PASAL PERTANDINGAN PADANKAN KASUT CELEBRITY TU??? GUA CAKAP, kalau nak menang kasut adidas yg. memang bukan diorang yang sponsor. YOU HAVE TO MATCH THE 20 SHOES AT THE BLOG BELOW TO THE NAME OF 20 ARTISTE and kalau betul baru gua bagi kasut tu. Korang ingat gua kilang cap duit ke nak bagi reramai kasut adidas free. Gua rasa macam nak hentak kepala kat dinding tengok ramai manusia yang tinggal nama, address dan saiz kasut aja. saborjela. terimakasih.

Anyway the story is....

Datuk Rosman the Managing Director of MiTV called me to the main table as i was leaving to oxygenate myself (with a a death stick) at the stairwell of the Time Square convention hall. When i was at his side, he pointed to the gentle man next to him and to my terkejutness it was Pak Lah!! ( imean, i knew he was there, but it didn't cross my mind that he would be next to Datuk Rosman and like 10 inches from me. I mean this is the leader of our nation we're talking about here. I thought there would be bodyguards around him and snipers on the lighting trusses. Anyway Datuk Rosman said to Pak Lah, "this is the guy that is going to do something for us". Pak Lah looked at me and smiled. "Ahh Afdlin! good...good.. i like your comedy!", he said.

WO!!!!! I could only try to hide my awe by giving him an overcompensated smile, "He knows my name??!!", i told myself. i don't know why, but i suddenly dropped to my knees, so that he didn't have to look up at me. Somehow it didn't feel right.

He then said, while pointing briefly to the both of us (me and Datuk Rosman)" Both of you are young entrepreneurs and have great ideas, you should always work hard to do something different for our people. Make them think." he then looked at me and said " We have to start giving our people more intelligent stuff. More intelligent comedy.! Educate them. Our language is so beautiful that it can be manipulated in many ways to tell a joke. (don't have to resort to constant slapstick for the laughs - is how i read into what he said)". contohnya, he said " A teacher once said to him " Bila dah besar nanti, jangan lupa jadi orang!!" and proceeded to laugh. It is so easy to make people laugh without using the usual sexual innuendos and the normal antics that sometimes insult our intelligence.

BING!!!BING!!BING!!, bells were going off in my head. He is on the same wavelength as i am. He is definitely in tune with the times and what is good for the people. His uncondescending tone, more fatherly, advise took me by surprise and was inspiring. i told Pak Lah that, this is what i have been trying to do all this while and will keep on doing for as long as there are people out there who wants a change (macam politican lak kodok ni). That is also the main reason why Datuk Rosman wants us to do this thing for MiTV (YES IT IS LIKE TiVO but with more features).

AS Pak Lah was leaving, walking to the door, a group start to form to bid him farewell, as he walked the red carpet he starts to shake people's hand, i had just came back from my oxygenation. When he smiled again at me, walked towards me and said,while shaking my hand..."you gotta keep the people entertained... keep em happy,..we will do the rest. there's a bit of problems here and there but we'll work it out. you job keep is to keep the people happy." HE RECOGNISES THE IMPORTANCE OF ENTERTAINERS in MAINTAINING THE COUNTRY"S WELL BEING!!! that blew me away. Where so many people look at my chosen profession as a Kerja Main-Main, he gave recognition to the importance of entertainers in the nation building process. Respect to the man! where respect had he given.

" i will keep in mind what you said to me", i said. we exchange a look of mutual respect and he continued on his way.

In Pak Lah, i believe, we have a very thoughtful and caring leader. A person who isn't afraid to give respect even before respect is shown to him. To speak his mind freely to achieve his dreams for the nation. All thru the conversation i felt like i was not talked down upon, but rather, was sharing a moment with a friend. It has Inspired me to become better and to keep on giving my best to all of you.

Long Live Pak Lah and may god guide him into taking Malaysians to the next level of excellence. We've got to do our part, cause he can't do it alone. Webek...webek... webek

POWER TO THE PEOPLE.

AFDLIN

Message untuk ANONYMOUS.

Memula of all, aku just would like to apologise kepada semua my fellow kodoks semua, terutama sekali seorang Anonymous yang telah memanggil saya babi di dalam blog comments ini, kerana tidak menyambung blog saya dengan terlebih awal lagi. Aku juga meminta maaf kerana terpaksa bekerja untuk menyara keluarga aku dan memenuhi kewajipan aku pada tugasan2 aku sebagai seekor babi... . Aku bersedih kerana susah-susah aje, mak bapak aku jadi orang, untuk melahirkan seorang babi-kan?. Aku terima kebabian aku, dan harap supaya Anonymous (yang telah disalahi babi ini) dan yang takde secebis kebabian didalam dirinya dapat memaafkan babi ini kerana telah mengecewakan Anonymous yang halal dari segala bentuk kebabian di dalam dirinya yang suci itu, walaupun dia tak mempunyai sebarang alat sulit ataupun kemaluan, kerana dia hanya berani meninggalkan nick anonymous, dia tak perlu risau dan khuathir kerana diri dia bukan babi. Babi adalah aku.

Ehh... tapi kalau gitu, Anonymous kau mengikuti cerita-cerita babi akulah. hmmmm.

My chat with Pak Lah... THE PRIME MINISTER!!!!!!

Ok before i story you about my unbelievable encounter with Pak Lah at the MiTV launch yesterday, abit of housekeeping first.

First of all, We have just shipped our second batch of CDs and Cassettes out to the world and my friends... WE HAVE OFFICIALLY SENT OUT ALL THE FIRST-PRINT LIMITED EDITION OF FUUYO!!! This is all because of you!! my cyberbuddies. Thank you for caring enough to want to listen to my music. I am truly humbled by the outstanding reception. You have all created this revolution, so be proud!! We DID it. What the frakking record distributors said they couldn't do.

Officially we have sent out almost over 1000 + cds and cassettes in just two weeks people. Now the ball is in your court. you decide!. The billing instructions are in the package that we have sent to you. Thank you all for spreading the word on your respective blogs, there are too many of you too mention. But notably Along from Utusan , The MalayMail, The Star, Sultan Muzaffar, Klubbkidd, DJ Phuturecybersonique, Juan Danza (although dia sibuk sangat dgn MAWIFCnya tu, congrats on the perjumpaan, read about it on Klubberkidd's site)among others. A heartfelt thank you for helping me spread my music to my fans. My fans are the best fans anyone can have. Intelligent tetapi kodok.

The bad news is there are still about 400 orders up to yesterday that have not been fulfilled, so for that my funky cekodoks, we will go into reprint for the SECOND edition of FUUYO, so if anyone is still keen on it please check out Project : Afdlin Shauki Dah Hilang Akal! on the side bar. Outstanding. Korang gila jugaklah.

secondly, this is a very interesting development. You all know how Anuar Zain is Unhappy with his now defunct recording company Synchrosound, after hearing what we created on the net, he WANTS to release his NEXT SINGLE for all of you, the same way we did FUUYO, SO dengar dulu, kalau suka bayar terus kat Anuar Zain. Rawwwking!!!

Thirdly, I have created a my music space on Myspace at http://www.myspace.com/acidiz so check out some stuff from FUUYO and Other upcoming and unreleased projects like the BAIK PUNYA CILOK SONG - radio pun tak dapat lagi. dan selama ni yg circulating on the web is the anugerah bintang popular version. This the actual studio version yang akan direleasekan dlm album soundtrack. Gilaaaa Kodok, gilaaa. You respect me i respect you. My friends and fans you get to hear it first.

forthly, THE ADIDAS OFFER IS ON you match the shoes to the celebrities, i give you an original adidas free. Bukan sponsor tau, duit show aku jugak keluar... but in the name of insanity lets go for it kodoksssss. send me an email at selambakodok@gmail.com with your- name - address- shoe size and what colour you prefer( yg. ni gua tak janji k, kalau ada... ada)

Fifthly (ada ke such a word), I have Yahoo Messenger now. Kalau nak chatting online dengan gua, add gua punya name

selambakodok

kat friends list YM u, kalau gua terlayan gua layan. Gua akan post the times when i will be on YM. Keep checking the shoutbox. manalah tahu nak ajak dating ke, ajak jogging ke dll idea yang tak menasabah.

Sixtly (apakejadah punya perkataan ni), Plan F from Cyberspace kita akan mulakan soon, saya masih menunggu feedback from a few people and once it's done we will be ready to roll.


And now my encounter with Pak Lah.

I have always liked our Prime Minister but i sort of disassociated him from being concious of us entertainers. Somehow thru some other political types who i have encountered previously, most of them have no respect for the people in my profession. But how wrong was i.

Pak Lah was there to officiate the launch of Malaysia's second PayTV network MiTV which is derived from technology developed by Datuk Rosman the Big boss of MiTV and his team of engineers to try and give malaysians a one stop solution for all their media needs. The decoder for Mitv allows us to watch tv, surf the net and make VOIP calls long distance using ur regular phone, The decoder itself is actually aCPU with about 60gigs of harddisk space which you can download (kaki2 download semua sure steam punya) programs or music to listen to it when you want, so instead of waiting for the next cycle of CSI at 2.00am youjust set it so that when csi airs it gets downloaded to the box. and ikut suka saudara-mara kitalah bila kita nak tengok punya.

But all that is not the point of my ramblings.... As i was walking past the main table to oxygenate myself outside the hall, Datuk Rosman called me and said Pak Lah wanted to see me. When i got next to Pak Lah, Terkedu i tak ingat punya. The leader of our great nation wants to talk to this insignificant fat boy.... have i done something wrong ?.... has he been reading my anti establishment blogs???? enquiring minds want to know.... well... this is what he said to me...


errr oops , my wife tengah jeritkan i suruh hantar dia pergi kelas masterclass screenwriting dia.... kita sambung later k ... ciaow!

Yaayy, I didn't succkk!!.....

Wooo hooo, my third International gig (my first one was in Nepal and second in Singapore) in HongKong and i rawk the hausssss!!! My Standup material tonight included the reason i am fat, why Datuk Samy Vellu is still in office, why my wife decided to marry a fat boy, what is good about being fat, the problem fat people have shopping in malaysia, my fear of airports and immigration and why i love siti so muuch.

I swear to you before the show i was macam 'KALAU TOREH MUKA PUN DARAH TAK KELUAR' or dalam bahasa jermannya 'pucat gigi'. It has been a while since i've done a standup show kerana concentrate on my movie making jer. BUT I am back baybee!! the king isss Back!!!

Actually i even surprised myself, i was very calm and very fluid in my delivery. You could have thrown me anything and i could have turned it into a joke.... BEST GILA SIUT when you do a good show that people enjoy themselves, lebih-lebih lagi when it's an international audience.) I notice even the subtle stuff also they got. Best siut.

I guess this is why i love to perform infront of a crowd, i enjoy seeing their reaction, their smiles, their laughter and when i do good, the payoff as a performer is unbelievable... you feel like you could walk on water (but it is highly unadvisable)!

And the money is great too.

i have always believed that when you love what you're doing, it never seems like work, it's always fun and when you get paid it feels like "what?? and you're paying me to have fun too?"... "you people are out of your mind!!!"

SO WHY DO SOMETHING YOU DON"T LOVE?

Power to the people.

afdlin

Plan F from CYBERSPACE! - Hello from HongKong.

Gua dah sampai hongkong and everything is peachy so far. I am here for the Malaysian Association of Hong Kong dinner function. But i still cant get Plan F out of my head. It needs a bit of a think-thru dulu sebelum boleh buat apa-apa decision. Kalau ada apa-apa cadangan dan advise yang boleh dikongsi oleh cendikiawan-cendikiawan dari segi undang-undang, perbankan atau apa-apa jelah amat di hargai. Mungkin kita target untuk start shoot tahun depan satu cerita yang kita sendiri develop on the net. First send in your ideas. I will write the script and screenplay on a designated blog, and i will take any input about the story. You too can help develop the story by writing plot lines and help develop all the characters. the story and script will be available for all to read until the final draft and hopefully the funds, if we rawks all the blogs kat Mesia ni dan juga dari sumbangan fellow kekodoks overseas, would have come in by then and the PLAN F FROM CYBER SPACE can be put into action. If we all believe in each other i'm sure we can do this. The first film funded by an internet community. This is insane. I love it.

BUT we have to study first all the consequences before we jump into this, so keep checking in on this blog to find out the latest on PLAN F FROM CYBERSPACE..

Sultan Muzaffar has jumped on board and will figure out the site hosting for this project. Dak^Penang will help. The wheel is in motion already.....

Post Merdeka show and my wifey's birthday today!!

I want to say happy birthday to my isteri yang tersayang Chris semoga dia panjang umur and hopefully all her dreams will come true. WE HAD A GREAT TIME going out with our close friends to celebrate hers and her sister, priscilla's birthday at the Hilton Hotel till about 2am and then after that we all chow pegi devi's melantak kat sana. I am really blessed to have her as my wife and am very lucky that she chose me. She could have had anyone in this world tapi budak gemuk ni jugak dia suka. i love her loads.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEE!

Despite a great nite yesterday, Today I feel a bit like shit actually to tell you the truth because LOS dan FAUN tak jadi di buat oleh Tayangan Unggul kerana katanya mereka nak concentrate on a film which is going to be directed by a bollywood director called DIVA yang akan shoot pada bulan september ni. PULAK!!. Mula-mula cakap konfirm-konfirm lepas tu kon-tol pulak. My life, i plan around a film production nowadays, so if somebody pulls the plug at the last minute i am SCREWED, income wise.

A lot of people still ask me why i wasn't around to pick up my awards at the SKRIN awards TV3 that nite. The truth is, i would have loved to be at the award nite but the Malaysian Gas gig was a PAYING GIG and artistes in MALAYSIA have not reached the level of artistes abroad, where people recognise and are willing to pay for good talent, and through fan loyalty do not have to do 7 gigs a week. Basically they are paid their due and not just paid a token everytime they perform. I tell you, the number of people who call artiste so that they come and support their charity function is amazing. My question is how many of them are actually doing this for charity as opposed to promotional mileage!!! you monkeys!!! I am no stranger to doing charity but i too get frakking pissed when people want to use my name for their personal means. I actually said to one company who asked me to do a fundraising charity show for free, to pay me my worth, and then i would take that cheque and give that cheque to the charity under my name. They never called back. So is that sincere or not. So as i say my nubian brotherz and sistaz, Award tetap award! but my kids need to get fed and schooled, and that is my priority.

So, i am now sitting blogging half-heartedly macam pelancong taiwan kalah judi dekat genting highland and just feel a bit lifeless. i know this thing will pass, but i can't help but feel trapped due the decision made by TU. FRAAAKKk!!!.

OK PLAN B!!!

You all are going to hear about it first, right here. MY MASTERPLAN. How i am going to get LOS dan Faun done! So that brother kodok can get Paaaaiiiddddd!

AFDLIN SHAUKI's PLAN B
a. Grand Brilliance... they have invested in my projects before and i'm sure they would be interested to have a look.

b. Private Investors.... have been approached by a few.

c. Bank Pembangunan / Finas.... has a 50 million grant but very many strings attached ie. every other shot must have the klcc
in sight.

d. Rob a bank..... they are not helping SMI's banking and financial system in this country is SCREWED!

e. Jadi gigolo mak datin.... my berat badan could be an issue unless the datin has some kind of weird fetish.

f. GET 375,000 MALAYSIANS TO INVEST 4 RINGGIT EACH INTO THE FILM AND IN RETURN THEY GET TO CALL THEMSELVES
EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS OF THE FILM (A CERTIFICATE WILL BE SENT TO YOU AS PROOF BY THE PRODUCTION COMPANY) AND
A REAL MALAYSIAN FILM COULD GET DONE, this was done for crocodile dundee where they took an ad out in the
newspapers looking for investors for the film and before you know it, CROCODILE DUNDEE was a world wide hit!! So ask yourself punk!! Do you wanna be a film producer??? huh?? do ya??

hee hee..

Whatever path i take, i know i am going to overcome my current situation right now and rock da woorrrlldd!!. I just have to face it and start running towards it. full on. Pantang anak melayu berundur sebelum dicuba.

POWER TO THE PEOPLE.

AFDLIN SHAUKI

Ps.. before i go, A lot of people ask me to take photos of Artistes at the Merdeka concert so here it is - JUST BE FOREWARNED THAT NOBODY HAS EVER TAKEN THESE PHOTOS OF THE ARTISTES....

Semua orang ada gambar muka MAWI, Tapi gua sorang aja ada gambar kaki dia. hahaha!!! Cubalah teka yang mana satu?
Inilah koleksi kaki artiste Malaysia yang terbesar di dunia ini. Hee hee. Siapa nak challengge... masukkk...masukk aku kata!


Oklah mari kita main teka kaki artis!! nombor 1 paling atas dan no 20 paling bawah. Ok, padankan nombor itu dengan artis-artis ini. Mawi, Marsha, Rosyam Nor, Afdlin Shauki, Yogi B, Point Blanque, Zahid AF2, Bob AF2, Anuar Zain, Man Kidal, Mus, Leanord Tan, Yusni Jaafar, Aziz Sattar, Noryn, Roy, Radhi Khalid, Syarifah Hasnor, Zaibo & Helmi Gimmick

Siapa FIRST dapat padankan dengan tepat gua bagi satu pasang kasut adidas. berani??